Jupiters Weather Problems and Global Warming

Just read an article on Yahoo News about some interesting weather related phenomenon on Jupiter. Couldn't help but write up the following spoof. Enjoy...

Chicken Little 1 (Al Gore): "Did you hear, did you hear?"

Chicken Little 2 (Barack Obama): "No what???"

Chicken Little 1: "A giant cloud belt in the southern half of the planet Jupiter has apparently disappeared!"

Chicken Little 2: "No way!"

Chicken Little 1: "Way!!!"

Chicken Little 2: "That's terrible"

Chicken Little 1: "Yeah, this huge cloud band makes up the Southern Equatorial Belt. It's been there for as long as scientists could see Jupiter through a telescope. This is tragic, alarming even. Kind of like that apple that fell from the tree and bonked me on the head awhile back"

Chicken Little 2: "Oh right, and just think all those stupid people tried to chalk it up to gravity, LMAO! How we avoided the sky falling is still a mystery to me. Mankind almost ate it there"

Chicken Little 1: "I've also been told the Great Red Spot on Jupiter - you know the massive hurricane that's larger than the Earth with winds exceeding 1,000 mph - well it's shrinking as well. Scientists are saying that, "...changes in Jupiter's weather are not uncommon...", can you believe that nonsense?"

Chicken Little 2: "I can't. It's so freakin' obvious what's causing these problems on Jupiter"

Chicken Little 1&2 in unison: "GLOBAL WARMING!"

Chicken Little 1: "Mr. President, you must act NOW!"

Chicken Little 2: "I will do exactly that. It's time to get government involved. We need to expand the bureaucracy. Implement Cap & Trade, cut those carbon emissions, raise taxes, create new taxes, require all Americans to paint the roofs of their homes and businesses white"

Chicken Little 1: "A'tta boy Mr. President."

Chicken Little 2: "I will inform the Congress and demand that they act on my, I mean, the best interest of the citizens of the United States of America. Get Pelosi on this! Get Reid on this!"

Chicken Little 3 (Nancy Pelosi pounding the pulpit): "I WOULD LIKE ALL CATHOLIC BISHOPS TO PREACH TO THEIR CONGREGATIONS THAT WE MUST ACT NOW TO PREVENT GLOBAL WARMING"

Chicken Little 2: "Now Nancy, we are no longer calling it Global Warming due to the far reaching affects of Mankind's misguided treatment of Mother-Nature. It is now called Solar-System Warming"

Chicken Little 3: "Sweet, right on, righteous Mr. President. Nice term. Anything that will spread even more fear throughout the masses will help. Solar-System Warming, or SSW. I like it"

Chicken Little 4 (Harry Reid): "SSW is responsible for the lack of Health Care in America. A $1 trillion Health Care reform package is what we need to cut down on carbon emissions to Jupiter"

Chicken Little 3: "Then I will call on all ministers of Christian faiths to preach SSW from the pulpit. We need to spread the word and utilize all our resources regardless of the Constitution. CHURCH AND STATE WILL COME TOGETHER FOR THE BETTERMENT OF MANKIND IN COMBATING SSW!"

Chicken Little 4: "SSW is responsible for the immigration problem in the U.S. If we grant universal amnesty to 20 million illegal aliens that will cut down on carbon emissions to Jupiter"

Christian Minister: Er, um, Ms. Pelosi? What if we called on all religious leaders to assist us in this important matter. You know, maybe include Muslim clerics?"

Chicken Little 4: "HOW DARE YOU SINGLE OUT THE MUSLIM RELIGION LIKE THAT. YOU SLIME, YOU RACIAL BIGOT! RACIAL INTOLERANCE IS NOT TOLERATED IN THIS COUNTRY! DO YOU NOT KNOW WE ARE TO CATER TO THE MUSLIMS EVERY WHIM? IT IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO PROTECT MUSLIMS! WE MUST PROTECT THEIR VALUES, THEIR REPUTATION, THEIR PRAYER DAY, THEIR RIGHT TO KEEP AND BEAR EXPLOSIVES!
You better tow the politically correct line Mr. Christian minister, or I will withdraw your tax exemption status. You better pray to All-Mother God that you don't get on my bad side. NOW PREACH WHAT I TELL YOU TO...Oh, and please continue to keep that offensive nativity scene locked up in the closet where it belongs"

Epilogue:

Chicken Little 1 (Al Gore): "Man, Mr. President, isn't it fun to be the puppeteer?"

Chicken Little 2 (Barack Obama): "You know it Al, I love the perks. By the way, did you see Michelle's new tennis shoes?"

Chicken Little 1: "No, are they cool?"

Chicken Little 2: "Oh yeah, $500 my man. Two hundred man-hours on the backs of child labor in Indonesia"

Chicken Little 1: "LOL, that's life bro'. Did ya hear? I bought a new home out in California"

Chicken Little 2: "Really? Bet it's a sweet pad"

Chicken Little 1: "Yeah, $6 mil, but the ocean view is worth $20 mil. Americans are stupid man. They don't realize that all the "Green" we keep talking about is the money going into my pocket. By the way, did you send the United Nations their cut?"

Chicken Little 2: "Yeah, just like always...10% bi-weekly. Hey Al?"

Chicken Little 1: "Yeah, B.O.?"

Chicken Little 2: (pulls out a pack of cigs from within his suit jacket) "Gotta light?"